So, here we are in 2012. The year I’m excited about, but with a dash of dread. For this year, I turn 40.
I can barely believe it and I’m beginning to understand what my parents have always said that although the body gets older, the spirit remains young! I see evidence now and again on the dancefloor and in sore muscles the next day!
In fact, in thinking of moving into my next decade, I recall a Bill Cosby stand up routine which I saw as a teenager. Mr Cosby talked hilariously about the experiences of turning 40 - not all good! I laughed so hard and thought, “Ha! These old people aren’t doing it right...I’ll keep fit and I’ll never get old!”.
I’ve kept my pledge to try to keep fit, nonetheless my joints are now less agile and my limbs seem to have taken on a thickening process! So, yoga has replaced muscle-building cycling to help keep joints fluid and muscles toned – subject to my genetic code that is! My DNA could be laughing at me right now: “Ha,ha! You can go as many downward dogs as you like, lady, but your genes will not be out-foxed!”.
Physical challenges aside, the final year of my 30s as a single lady is going be very interesting. I hope I’ve dealt with a lot of the demons us women are forced to face at this age, but some of the battles will continue I’m sure. But I can only hope I’m gathering sufficient wisdom and patience to remain focussed when making some inevitable and foundation-shifting decisions.
The issue of becoming a mother remains unresolved...of course. The roller coaster journey is not for the faint hearted! One week it seems ok never to be a mum, the next week a wave of broodiness hits you like a steam train. Dealing the emotions is very tough – it’s exciting and heart-breaking at the same time. But I believe you have to go through the process if you are considering consciously bringing a child into the world on your own. First and foremost, you make decisions for the unborn child. Your ego has to be put aside sometimes – and that’s part of the struggle.
On another matter - these days I have a much more solid sense of my own values which is very important in a society which still insists on making single women feel like failures. The stereotyped ‘happy couple’ is everywhere – buying a sofa on TV ads, frolicking on beaches in holiday brochures...falling in love over a squirt of perfume in magazines! You simply have to ignore those messages if you want to maintain a reasonable level of self-esteem! And we all know it’s down to an uncreative advertising industry using the same, tired idea.
I also now know the myth of the ‘career woman’ doesn’t exist. God knows which politician or tabloid journalist created this concept years ago! From my experience, single women have no choice but to work hard to earn a decent single income to keep a roof over their head. The stress inevitably impacts your energy levels, in turn, you have less enthusiasm to get out there and find a new man.
Falling asleep on a date is a little rude afterall! Opportunities for husband-hunting (as it were) become fewer, the harder you work. I could indeed give it all up, but then where would I find the cash to go on dates or go out to meet new people generally?
Anyway, with still no prospect of a good man riding in on his nobel stead, I need to prepare myself for the next part of my life based on possibly not finding the right partner for a while still....who knows, eh?
But it’s not all doom and gloom!
In approaching my 40th, I am claiming my right to buck the ideas of others' and my old expectations, and live life how it suits me best. The jigsaw puzzle is slowly coming together! It’s a big, juicy cliché but it feels like a watershed.
In fact, a very wise lady told me 2 years ago, that it’s not until our late 30s that we truly begin to become women – any time before, we’re still girls at heart. I totally appreciate this now after the last few years of various life experience and major shift in priorities.
I also understand better now when people talk about their ‘inner goddess’, and it’s not necessarily just a spiritual idea. I think it’s simply about learning to be more of the woman you know you really are, when in the past, you never had the confidence to accept it: both good and not so good. Afterall, some of the most beautiful goddesses and deities from various cultures are not at all sweet and innocent are they? But they are known for their own brand of wisdom and reflect different aspects of our life and character which are there in us all. And it’s easier to live with them if we accept them, rather than ignore them....in my humble opinion....!
So bring on the big 4-0 and all that it brings! My goddess is ready to be unleashed – huzzah!
No comments:
Post a Comment